Having an epic beard will attract a lot of things. Simply being able to grow one is a symbol of good fortune. Take this guy, for instance. He's already getting mad love from a well-groomed, hairless pussy... and his beard is only mediocre. Imagine what other pleasures the world could bestow upon the bearded.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
No Rest for the Wick-It
Dig this: Mash-ups are nothing new. Hell they're everywhere these days. From NFL broadcasts to Christmas commercials, corprate America has discovered (and almost overkilled) what dope-ass club DJ's have known for years; Mashing two, or more, known songs together will surprise and please a wide audience, especially when genre lines get crossed.
Wick-It the Instigator has been a master of this craft for years and my personal favorite mash-up maker. He doesn't just jam a vocal track from one song over the instrumental of another. He carefully and skillfully mashes shit up. His latest mixtape, The Brothers of Chico Dusty, blends Atlanta bad-ass, Big Boi's solo LP Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son Of Chico Dusty and the blues/rock ass-kickers the Black Keys' Brothers.
Get a load of this shit:
object height="245" width="100%">The Brothers of Chico Dusty (Big Boi vs. The Black Keys) by wick-it
But don't sleep on this shit either. Check out track 7 (MIA vs Green Day vs Weezer vs Rick Ross vs Dee Lite), track 20 (my personal favorite Jay Z remix/mash-up ever), track 24 (featuring a verse from yours truly) and Beardhammer loyists will certainly appriciate track 29 (HELMET vs Purple Ribbon vs Gorillaz).
Wick-it the Instigator by wick-it
You're welcome.
Love you, bitches,
ILLER
Wick-It the Instigator has been a master of this craft for years and my personal favorite mash-up maker. He doesn't just jam a vocal track from one song over the instrumental of another. He carefully and skillfully mashes shit up. His latest mixtape, The Brothers of Chico Dusty, blends Atlanta bad-ass, Big Boi's solo LP Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son Of Chico Dusty and the blues/rock ass-kickers the Black Keys' Brothers.
Get a load of this shit:
object height="245" width="100%">The Brothers of Chico Dusty (Big Boi vs. The Black Keys) by wick-it
But don't sleep on this shit either. Check out track 7 (MIA vs Green Day vs Weezer vs Rick Ross vs Dee Lite), track 20 (my personal favorite Jay Z remix/mash-up ever), track 24 (featuring a verse from yours truly) and Beardhammer loyists will certainly appriciate track 29 (HELMET vs Purple Ribbon vs Gorillaz).
Wick-it the Instigator by wick-it
You're welcome.
Love you, bitches,
ILLER
It's Cold in here
Here's another true, but unpopular fact from your dear, ILL uncle; Coldplay is fucking awesome. Deal with that, tough guys (and indie-art fucks)! They are. For some reason they are the greatest band that it's super cool to hate. But do yourself a favor; quit hating for a minute, and actually listen to a Coldplay album. Any album. Listen and feel yourself fall a little deeper in love with your sweetheart or yearn for a second chance with the one (or if you're like me; the many) who got away. Yeah, it's bitch music. So? I say, embrase your inner bitch e'ery once in a while! I straight up listen to this shit while I binge on bon-bons and cry real human tears.
Really. They're great. Every song is perfectly crafted. If I could have any singing voice in the world, it would be Chis Martin's. Can you imagine the amount of trim you could pull if you could sing like that?
Chill the fuck out, non-conformists. I love Coldplay and aint scurred to say it.
Now, I'll post some back-in-the-day shit to remind yall that I'm not to be fucked with.
Love you, bitches.
-ILLER
Really. They're great. Every song is perfectly crafted. If I could have any singing voice in the world, it would be Chis Martin's. Can you imagine the amount of trim you could pull if you could sing like that?
Chill the fuck out, non-conformists. I love Coldplay and aint scurred to say it.
Now, I'll post some back-in-the-day shit to remind yall that I'm not to be fucked with.
Love you, bitches.
-ILLER
Friday, January 21, 2011
Beardhammer Radio
Not sure if this is going to be a weekly or bi-weekly thing yet, but it will be a regular feature.
EDIT:
I exceeded my bandwidth already...
http://www.mediafire.com/?mi6giw8odo06irh
Here's a direct download link. I'm not sure if it will stream from there.
Monday, January 17, 2011
A song that touches me....in a good way!
Just wanted to share a classic song that creates a fuzzy feeling, kinda like when Father Johnson touched me that one tim.....oh wait. NO! Haha, but this song picks me up when the Darker side of things try and take over. Enjoy! -W2
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
A New Beginning
Hello fiends,
The blog is born again with new cult members on board. Please welcome CARLZILLA, ALLI CRUMBCAKE, and his royal badass-ness STILL ILLER. ROGER DE ROK and I are also working on new items for your reading/viewing pleasure. As we prepare new posts, please enjoy the movie reviews provided by ILLER.
Keep your hammer held high & let your beard grow full,
-MAGISTER PERVERZUM
The blog is born again with new cult members on board. Please welcome CARLZILLA, ALLI CRUMBCAKE, and his royal badass-ness STILL ILLER. ROGER DE ROK and I are also working on new items for your reading/viewing pleasure. As we prepare new posts, please enjoy the movie reviews provided by ILLER.
Keep your hammer held high & let your beard grow full,
-MAGISTER PERVERZUM
Two movies, one review, no spoilers
Okay, I got news for ya: Paranormal Activity is scary as fuck. It’s scary as fuck and if it didn’t scare the fuck out of you, your brains don’t work right. Don’t come at me with that bullshit either.
I know; the girl was annoying.
I know; Blair Witch Project sucked and they were shot in similar styles.
I know; ghosts aren’t fucking real!
These are all valid points. But they cannot take away from the fact that this movie almost made me (and certainly would have made a lesser man) literally shit in my pants. It had me, every night for months, staring at the bedroom door, scared to balls that it was going to move a little and I would lose my goddamn mind. That's terror genius! And like so many other classic works of art, the back story of how it came to be is a murky tale of urban legend status.
From what I hear; two…no wait, three starving film school drop outs, armed only with their vision of terror and pawn shop bought camera, created what turned out to be the scariest movie since the Exorcist. And they did it all in a house they were squatting in, on a budget of $0, in three days! No shit. DreamWorks saw that jam and wanted to remake it with a bunch of CGI effects and Will Smith starring as the ghost, but the creators weren’t having it. BOOM; artistic integrity. THAT’S how horror legends are born, haters.
Now just recently I was affected, in different way but to an equal degree, by another film. As much as Paranormal Activity scared the fuck out of me, The Human Centipede (First Sequence) stressed me the mother fuck out. No movie has ever given me such a sense of pure dread. This one stayed with me for a while after it was over, by way of a bad taste in my brain and perma-sourface. The concept is creative and disturbing. The characters are just underdeveloped enough to be believable. The pacing is methodical and scenarios are perfectly dreadful. Admittedly, there are some gaping plot holes but by the time I noticed them, I was so freaked the fuck out, I didn’t even care.
It’s foreign so it’s cool and I didn’t recognize any of the actors, except Christopher Walken who did such a good Nazi accent; I almost forgot it was him. I dare you to watch this movie and not make bitch noises or want to vomit. My biggest gripe with it is that now the phrase “ass to mouth” has taken on a whole new, and less affectionate, meaning.
Love you, bitches.
-ILLER
I know; the girl was annoying.
I know; Blair Witch Project sucked and they were shot in similar styles.
I know; ghosts aren’t fucking real!
These are all valid points. But they cannot take away from the fact that this movie almost made me (and certainly would have made a lesser man) literally shit in my pants. It had me, every night for months, staring at the bedroom door, scared to balls that it was going to move a little and I would lose my goddamn mind. That's terror genius! And like so many other classic works of art, the back story of how it came to be is a murky tale of urban legend status.
From what I hear; two…no wait, three starving film school drop outs, armed only with their vision of terror and pawn shop bought camera, created what turned out to be the scariest movie since the Exorcist. And they did it all in a house they were squatting in, on a budget of $0, in three days! No shit. DreamWorks saw that jam and wanted to remake it with a bunch of CGI effects and Will Smith starring as the ghost, but the creators weren’t having it. BOOM; artistic integrity. THAT’S how horror legends are born, haters.
Now just recently I was affected, in different way but to an equal degree, by another film. As much as Paranormal Activity scared the fuck out of me, The Human Centipede (First Sequence) stressed me the mother fuck out. No movie has ever given me such a sense of pure dread. This one stayed with me for a while after it was over, by way of a bad taste in my brain and perma-sourface. The concept is creative and disturbing. The characters are just underdeveloped enough to be believable. The pacing is methodical and scenarios are perfectly dreadful. Admittedly, there are some gaping plot holes but by the time I noticed them, I was so freaked the fuck out, I didn’t even care.
It’s foreign so it’s cool and I didn’t recognize any of the actors, except Christopher Walken who did such a good Nazi accent; I almost forgot it was him. I dare you to watch this movie and not make bitch noises or want to vomit. My biggest gripe with it is that now the phrase “ass to mouth” has taken on a whole new, and less affectionate, meaning.
Love you, bitches.
-ILLER
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